dots

I don't believe that everything happens for a reason.

I think things just happen. And we formulate the "reason" part afterwards. It's part of our human need to make sense of things.

So I think a lot of things are up to chance. Which isn't a bad thing in my opinion. I think it's what makes things that happen all the more amazing. There is no predestined plan. Our future holds nothing, and it's up to us and chance to do whatever we want to do with it. I guess I choose to believe this because I love the sponteneity of things.

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The priest at my mom's birthday told us a story about this man the village he lived in. Random things would happen to certain members of the village, and like any community, people talked. If it was a good thing, they'd say "swerte swerte...", and if it was a bad thing, they'd say, "malas malas..." But to either of those comments, the man would say "swerte? malas? malay natin..." And this proved true because before they knew it, what they once thought of as malas made possible something they deemed swerte, and vice versa.

Now I'm not religious or anything. But I think the message of that story holds true for anything. We can't be too sure of anything -- our judgements, our perceptions, or what things will be in the future.

This makes me just enjoy each day for what it's worth, and have no regrets. Because you just never know.

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I find myself at a point where i am grateful and amazed at how events have turned out. Matters i have agonized over and worried about before had a hand in bringing me where I am now.

Jobs said you can't connect the dots looking forward, you can only do it looking back.

And it's true (assuming things work out for you). I agonized over MIS, bitched about the school i'm in now, and slightly the major i was in. For my CAD class, I had this teacher who had just started at this firm i've been reading about in magazines. He then said there was an opening for an internship. I swore that if I got that internship, my life would change. I couldn't even begin to imagine myself working at a place like that before I can here, but it's pretty much along the lines, or on the way to what I dreamed/hoped I would be a part of when I came here. Got the internship. Had good days, had bad days. CAD teacher introduces someone he went to school with. I take her class, and love it. It's the only real design class in the school. Plus, she is of the belief of pushing limits, which I very much believe in or strive to do. I mention an interest in product design to her and she refers me to this one interdisciplinary firm -- run by architects but they have product, interiors, graphic, etc. Then while looking at some drawings at work, I see on the title block that they're working with us on one of our projects. I mention my options to one of the people at work and she says good things.

I can't say I've gotten there yet, but looking back... MIS exposed me to everything computers (mostly bec of fellow students and ahem, someone in particular), which made me a whole lot more confident in it. And maybe it's with this skill and familiarity that made me extremely comfortable in my cad class, which made my teacher say good things about me, which probably helped in getting me hired. I never would've met this teacher had I not attended the school i'm in now. So although I don't like their style, I can't say I regret it.

I just feel like I'm at the right place. At least for now.

2 comments:

  1. WhatJ8:50 AM

    Hoist Nicole! Naisip mo ba ako nung sinulat mo yan? Napag-usapan natin yan.

    Connecting the dots...isn't that like putting reason behind things that happen? If we believe in connecting the dots, then we believe that there are a reason for things that happen...the reasons are the dots right? If there were no reasons then there wouldn't be lines connecting the dots. Labo ba?

    Anyhow, I'm happy that you are happy with the way things have turned out. Happy ako for you! Ü

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  2. One event leads to certain particular events. But Dot#1 does not exist solely for the purpose of connecting to Dot#2. Dot#1 does not exist as a REASON for Dot#2. It just exists. And things happen bec that's the natural flow of things. And it's when you look back that you can say, Oh a big reason why this happened was bec of what happened here.

    And what I'm saying is that Dot#2 could've been something else, another event, and we would think that the universe conspired to achieve that goal. We are the ones who assign the reasons to the dots. There really are just dots. That's it. There are no lines. But because we have this need to make sense of things, we draw the lines.

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